feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
