I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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