JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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