I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
