Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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