I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
