That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
