Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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