I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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