I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
