I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
