If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
