youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
