She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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