i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
