we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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