Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
