What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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