Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
