In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
