Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
