my being single is dangerous.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
