How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How does one acquire holy water?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
