And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
