mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
