Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
