did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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