I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
