I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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