I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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