marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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