My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
