went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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