YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
