he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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