I hate your face
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
