My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
