If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
