I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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