He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
do herpes really smell.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
