The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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