I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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