Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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