well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
