chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
