Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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