Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
