Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I looked at my own cervix.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
