Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
