i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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