Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
