saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
