dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
