It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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