you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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