Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
