she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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