My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
