Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
