I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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