tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
