Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
