You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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