i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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