were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Drake has all the answers
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
